The Secret to Solo Shows


Life’s too short not to solo-send it every once in a while. Whether your squad is going through the “retirement” phase of raving, or you’re new to the scene and don’t have anyone to go with, a solo show can be one of the most memorable experiences of your life and your raving career. Sometimes, the FOMO really is too strong to sit this one out.

I remember my first solo mission: the nerves, the anxiety, the fear of being alone or being perceived in a certain way. I was on a solo trip to British Columbia after going through a tough few months, and I was doing everything all by myself at that time. It was fated; the universe sent me the flyer for Reaper’s show at Celebrities Nightclub down the street from my hotel. Hardly a drum and bass girl at that time, I decided to just do it.

I worried about everything from my outfit to my vibe to whether I should go early or come late, and should I talk to anyone? As soon as I mustered the courage to show up, stand in line in my sparkly little outfit, and enter the venue, I realized that NOBODY ACTUALLY CARES!!! It was the most freeing realization, and I marched my little butt right up to the rail and had the night of my life (and am now a certified drum and bass girlie).

Photo: OneVision Media

The magic in the EDM scene comes from the spirit of the community, but that magic also lives within you. So, here are my secrets to successfully solo raving like a pro:

#1 YOU are your priority. You get to choose which sets you want to see, when you need to refill water or go to the bathroom, and when to leave and how long to stay. The dance floor is your oyster! Do what feels right for you and follow your intuition. Allow yourself to be free and let your dancing shoes guide you. It’s also a lot easier to get to the rail when you’re alone. Pro tip!

#2 Go in with no expectations. Of course, us solo ravers would love to make friends at shows or meet the DJ randomly in the crowd, but clear your mind of any expectations of how the night should go, and you won’t be disappointed. The most random things can happen at any time; be open to them. Raves are like adult playgrounds, from shufflers to flow artists to Kandi trades—it’s all one big, huge world of fun. When you’re solo raving, people tend to give you more squishy toys as well. Pro-tip #2.5.

#3 Social anxiety is real, but your reality is entirely your own. Imagine you’re at home in your bedroom alone. Wear that outfit, let loose, dance. Trust me, nobody’s watching you or caring if you’re dancing weirdly or singing the lyrics out of key. I’ve met the most amazing people when I just exist in my own vibe and am having a good time. People are drawn to good energy; it pulls them in. If you embrace your aloneness and live as if nobody’s watching, you will definitely attract some fun-loving people to you. Although the wall feels like a safe space, try not to cling to it. Get in the crowd and dance. You know you want to!

#4 Have a game plan. Solo raving is mostly sh*ts and giggles, but if you are especially nervous about doing it, have a game plan going in. Make sure you have a safe way to and from the venue, have your phone fully charged and ready to go. Tell a close friend or family member where you’re going. Eat enough ahead of time, drink your water! If you ever feel unsafe, it’s okay to ask for help. Be mindful of your surroundings and look out for yourself! You are your best friend!

#5 Your phone is a crutch. We all do it; we all use it. We all pretend to be busy on our phones when we feel uncomfortable, but I encourage you to put that bad boy away. Be present, be there. Sure, take a few videos and photos to remember the night, but allow yourself to be fully immersed in the night. One of the best parts about solo raving for me was not having to coordinate meet-up points with friends. I could leave my phone in my bag and do as I please. We spend so much time worrying about others; it feels amazing to only have yourself to answer to!

#6 If you start to feel lonely, look around, because you never are. I remember a few times I solo-sent shows and I started to get overwhelmed in the middle of the set, but I saw all the love floating through the room, I could feel it, and it grounded me. I always try to think about how LUCKY we are to be here, in this moment and how this moment is unlike any other. How LUCKY are we, we get to experience this, and all by myself? Me and my best friend, me? What a life.

Photo: OneVision Media

My biggest tip is to not let the fear of being alone stop you from doing what you want to do. Don’t sit this one out. Ravers are some of the most free-spirited and welcoming humans you’ll ever have the pleasure of connecting with. If you’re a newbie looking to try out the scene, this is your sign. If you’ve been out of touch with the community for a while and are trying to get back in, this is your sign. If you haven’t been doing things for yourself lately and you want to, THIS IS YOUR SIGN! You will always regret not doing something more than you regret doing it. My last tip, and it’s the most important one… BRING THE ENERGY. You are a ball of energetic life. Just bring everything you have and give it your all. Life’s a mosh pit, jump on in!

– Remy Lethbridge

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